Crafting an Infernal Contraption

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I’ve been telling myself for the last month and a half that I’m going to get into leatherworking. I bought all the tools, read through some beginner materials, and planned out my first project. But what was this? The man in this Youtube video is using some specialized vice to hold his leather in place while he stitches. I couldn’t possibly be considered a travelled Leathersmith without having one of those to work with! So, in lieu of actually working the leather, my first project became to forge a tool for it. This journey is chronicled below.

Day 1 – Really excited I decided to get into this. Think I’m going to start by making a new wallet as my first project and then moving straight into a $500 Chromexcel duffle bag. Gotta finish this stitch horse first, though. How serendipitous I’ve all those 2x4s out in the garage from that other unfinished project! Also I bought this 6” bolt with wingnut, a box of deck screws, a bottle of wood glue, this gorilla glue, and 1 square foot of vegetable tan leather! Outta sight!

Day 3 – I’ve got all the measurements mapped out. Three 12” cuts that will be screwed together for the base. Two 14” cuts with 45 degree angles on one end for the outer vice arms. Two 4” cuts with 45 degree angles on both ends for the inner parts of the vice arms. And two 4” cuts for attaching to the base to keep the vice arms in place. Too bad it’s so cold out! I couldn’t possibly go out to the garage to do these now. Definitely tomorrow, though.

Day 15 – Oh yeah, I was doing this leatherworking thing. I’m bored out of my gourd, and it’s fairly warm out; I might as well give it a go. *proceeds to go outside and do 3/4ths of the cuts*

Day 26 – Welp, only 36 hours until we move to our new apartment and I don’t have a garage workshop anymore! What’re all these woodscraps all over the floor… *proceeds to rush out the remaining cuts*

Day 36 – Totally forgot I packed all these cuts of wood. Might as well screw the base together, wood glue the flat 4” cuts together and drill the holes for the bolt. Good thing I’m a dunce and bought a bolt that is a good 4” too short! I’ll just use this 1” spade drill bit to cut holes big enough to recess the head of the bolt and the wingnut into the 2x4s.

Day 37 – Looks like the hole still isn’t wide enough to twist the wingnut to close the vice. Good thing I found this Dremel I didn’t know we had! *Sets off the smoke alarm because he’s never used a Dremel before*

Day 38 – Now that these outer vice arms are finally workable, I should uneventfully glue them to the inner vice pieces so the angles line up. I’ll also cut the vege tan leather in preparation for gluing it to the vice arms.

Day 39 – Nearly done! I just need to deftly wood glue the base to the flat 4” pieces that were glued together earlier. Easy peasy. Now all that needs to be done is gorilla gluing the vege tan leather to the vice arms to prevent it from damaging the leather while it’s held in the vice. Oh geez, why won’t this stick to the wood? I have so much gorilla glue on my thumb I can’t feel things anymore. Why can’t I lift my sock off the floor?

In summary: I have created a functional stitch horse, although there is a lot of room for improvements! Most of the wood cuts are uneven because I decided it would be fun to use a handsaw for the first time since I was 9. The vegetable tan leather is way too stiff to use for the vice padding and will be swapped for something softer soon. Also the bolt + wingnut will probably be swapped out for something thinner so I don’t have to buy a bigger spade bit or use the smoke alarm tester again.