Happy new year, folks!
Let’s cut to the chase and talk about resolutions. (Predictable, Kris). Hear me out…
For a long time, I wasn’t a New Year’s Resolution type of chick. Then for years after that, I was. Regardless of if you do or don’t – it’s STILL a new year. Period. We reflect on what we’ve done and where we’ve been, we #topnine2017 on the Instagram, and we review The Best of 2017 lists. It is the end and beginning of something.
For me, it’s different this year. I’ve taken unexpected approaches:
I don’t have a NYR list etched in stone. (Trust me, I LOVE LISTS and live by them).
We create Word-documented plans and laminated lists in order for us to follow some sort of regime or remind ourselves of something. Maybe we nail those lists to walls or save them as desktop backgrounds. For me, those long-term lists give me night terrors. The pressure of having something looming over my head stresses me out, and I eventually rebel.
I am, however, a short-term list-maker, i.e. daily/weekly tasks. These are to-do’s that need to live outside my brain place. Oppositely, these NYR’s are floating around on clouds in my brain. They’re not taking up much space. They’re in there and having a damn good time, and I am allowing it. I don’t have an idea of how many there are. It doesn’t matter. The more important ones make their way to the front and that tendency seems natural.
I don’t have ANY expectations of myself and what I “should” be doing.
In my experience of NYRs and of life in general, any sort of expectation is just another way for something to fail. It doesn’t matter what we put that expectation on: ourselves, the yoga class, the car to get to the yoga class, another person, the ‘end’ goal – life. just. happens. Hope for the best and cross your fingers.
I consider myself a pretty lazy person. And when I fail, I know what it’s like to be hard on myself and feel guilty. As my friend’s mom says, “You can visit Pity City, but you can’t live there.” …well, I’m pretty sure I had a vacation condo on the shore, and it’s full of pillows and blankets, with a fireplace and endless hot chocolate. And the longer I extend the vacay, the harder it is to do one thing. I guess what I’m saying is: I don’t punish myself for not meeting expectations. It’s not worth it.
Oppositely, I don’t reward myself for doing ALL of the things, but I don’t overlook it. Yes, I am proud of myself. But I don’t allow myself to think that I got this down pat. A “yaaaassssss, kween!!!” and a smile is enough.
I’ve prioritized being present and mindful.
This is where being present comes into play. I did ALL or some of the things – GREAT! And tomorrow, I may or may not do all the things, and that, too, is just as great. I did what I was meant to do today, and that’s it.
Another way I’ve been able to incorporate mindfulness is being aware of what I’m doing in the moment. So I’m endlessly scrolling on my phone? Put it down and read a book. Just laying on the couch? Go for a walk. So far I’ve noticed most of the time, that I DON’T want to be on my phone or laying down. I actually want to be doing something else. If I take a moment to observe what I’m doing and how I’m feeling about it, chances are I’ll change my pattern. Sometimes, yeah, I DO want to be on my phone for a bit. And so what? I don’t punish myself for it.
I’ve been listening carefully and closer to myself, making whatever I do more genuine.
The more I listen to myself and what I want, the truer and more genuine it feels to accomplish these NYRs. Simply: if I don’t feel like doing something, I don’t do it in the moment. I just do what feels right.
Making a genuine decision is more rewarding, for me. I don’t feel like I’m going against my will. I just do what I feel in the moment, with no expectations, keeping all of my NYR thoughts in mind, and what feels right is what will win. And then, I win.
Wherever you are on your journey: Good luck and keep going!