Birds – Best of Applicants

Dearest Blog-Readers and Bird-Fans:As you may already know, Birds on a Cable has recently added new starlings to our flock. And, truth be told, it’s been a difficult journey to find these shining, capable personalities. Technical knowhow aside, we aim to employ passionate, organized and well-balanced Birds.Sifted from hundreds of resumes, below are some of the close-but-not-quite candidates:I did receive a diploma but it was turned over right away to the university I went to (DeVry University) and I never saw it again.  I have attempted at getting a duplicate of this diploma but was unsuccessful.______________________I finally have a beard again and don't want to shave. I deleted the last 3 pages of my resume and attached to this email.______________________I want to come help you impress the pants off of your clients with my utter lack of monotone and uncanny chill. I would love to add my personal recourses and willingness to learn to your little flock. I'm so excited to hear back from you I could lay an egg, so please don't hesitate to reach out with any further questions you may have.______________________As a sales and technical consultant, we live by the motto, "we make dreams come true!"______________________"Anything that exceeds 2pgs will be immediately discarded" - Wow that is extremely short-sighted!Hopefully you are not as arrogant with your personality towards your customers as your job posting makes your company seem.______________________Thank you very much and God bless you.